Changed my life, by giving me confidence in the subject.
Becoming an Atu-Mai Upstander was important to Ake Felix, who is a mother of two children living with her partner in West Auckland.
“I saw the need in the community for a programme driven by Pacific values reflecting on my own experiences growing up, as my parents weren’t equipped with tools to be able to create the changes needed.”
She says talking about sexual violence among Pacific people isn’t easy.
“I was interested in being an Upstander because in our culture it can be quite a taboo topic to discuss and I wanted to be a part of that shift,” she says.
Being able to connect with her community to share tools she’s learned has helped Ake to have more of those uncomfortable but important conversations.
Her experience with Le Va and Atu-Mai as an Upstander last season has been a really positive one.
“I felt supported by the Atu-Mai leaders and felt equipped with learnings to be able to teach with confidence,” she says.
“Our Pasifika values are at the forefront, and I felt like I was working from a good place with my culture to prevent sexual violence from a cultural perspective.”
Atu-Mai was a good opportunity to add to her kete and be able to work in spaces she’s in all the time. It was such a great chance to learn.
“I really enjoyed the training and thought the online resources were helpful to refresh my knowledge and ongoing support from Upstander leaders.”
Ake says one of her role models growing up was her mother.
“Mum worked really hard, and she opened up many doors for us with her sacrifices,” she says. Her mother was also a teacher of te reo Māori to children.
“This is a path I have followed as an adult as well to teach my own children, and she paved that way and just her hard work and determination was really admirable growing up.”
Ake believes the programme has helped her get tools for her own parenting and also given her a new perspective on the work.
“One of the goals for me is to give tools that maybe our parents and generation before didn’t have,” she says.
“And setting up the scene to build new paths for others in the community to take steps as well.”
It has also helped her to be able to have those uncomfortable conversations.
“We are such a values-based culture and it’s important our stories are still around,” she says.
Ake recommends Le Va’s Atu-Mai violence prevention programme to others.
“Changed my life by giving me confidence in the subject – that it doesn’t have to be negative, it can be a strengths-based topic of conversation out in the community.”
Reporting abuse and knowing where to get help
If you need to talk to someone now, help is available. Confidential support is available for those feeling unsure and needing to talk to someone about child sexual abuse.
If someone is in danger
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call the Police on 111.
If you or a young person needs someone to talk to
Safe to talk
Support for those impacted by sexual harm.
Call: 0800 044 334
Text: 4334
Email: support@safetotalk.nz
Live webchat: www.safetotalk.nz
1737
Support from trained counsellors
Call or text: 1737
Youthline
Youth helpline service & face-to-face counselling.
Call: 0800 376 633
Text: 234
Email: talk@youthline.co.nz
If the young person is in an unsafe environment:
Oranga Tamariki
Free call: 0508 326 459
Email: enquiry@ot.govt.nz
Support for those who have experienced sexual abuse:
Victim Support: 0800 842 846
Rape Crisis: 0800 88 33 00
HELP: Call: 24/7, 0800 623 1700 (24-hour HELPline); Email: gethelp@helpauckland.org.nz; Text: 8236
Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP): 022 344 0496
